wishing…

i’m gonna go out on a limb and say, i think one of the biggest struggles people have is wishing for more. whether that be for something to go away or for something to get here, something or anything we don’t have.

it’s easy for this to happen. we’re surrounded by so much that it’s easy to see what we don’t have. not to say, i’m (we’re) not genuinely happy for those who have what i (we) might desire. i am. but, sometimes i’m a contradiction to myself. as much as i’m happy, a teeny tiny part of me is sad, because it’s not happening to me, or someone is getting something i desire so much. and that teeny tiny part makes me realize that i’m not completely 100% happy for whatever or whomever. i hate that. but…

that’s the truth. i don’t like the truth.

for me personally, i could wish to get married, to lose weight a whole heck of a lot easier than my body likes to, to have lots of babies (naturally and of my own), to adopt a child from another country, to make a lot more money than i make and the list goes on and on and on.

and i could wake up every day and pray that those things happen, that God would show His grace in my life and gift those things to me. and i trust that in His timing, He will. but wishing doesn’t do me any good. it just floods my heart with self. it squashes any opportunity for me (you) to see ALL that God has for me right now, right here in front of my face.

like…

the friendships that i have been given.

the wonderful church and church family i have.

a handsome nephew.

my sister.

my parents.

my awesome, new job that only God himself could have found and picked for me.

going back to school to do something i never saw coming.

the excitement about studying the human body.

the passion i have for international missions.

the money i do have.

the new home i’ll have in 3 weeks.

the fact that my 83-year-old grandmother, who has Alzheimer’s, still knows my name.

and this list could go on and on and on.

so instead of wishing my life away, i’m going to wish that i soak up all that God has for me in this season, because i truly love the spot where my life is, the people i’m surrounded by, and all that God has lined up for me in the coming months.

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