coming home.

i went out of town a week or so ago. and, as fun as it was, i couldn’t wait to get home. i couldn’t wait to turn into my neighborhood and see my little grey house and walk through the door where i would find my cat waiting for me. i love coming home.

last night, when i couldn’t sleep, i flipped the television on and finally decided on, The Duggar Special: Josie Comes Home. i couldn’t have imagined ending a mother’s day with more perspective and more humbled. as i watched the family talk about the triumphs and battles they had faced with Josie’s premature birth, it wasn’t until Michelle Duggar began to tell the nurses her thank you’s and goodbye’s that i found myself crying with her. because, for the first time, i could imagine myself in both positions. i could be on the receiving end of the conversation and i have been on the giving. i’m sure that bringing Josie home was one of the best days that family’s experienced. nothing compares to coming home.

just a little over a year ago, i began keeping the sweetest little boy i know. and though i am no mother, i consider myself tyler’s other mama. i care for him as if he were my own. my journey with him has defined my life and who i am almost as much as anything else i’ve gone through. by far the biggest though, has been his fight for life. i can barely hold it together when i look at pictures like this…

i’m filled with incredible happiness that tyler came home. his home coming was of much anticipation.

but then i remember that “all good things work together for the good of those who love Him”. the “good” is that tyler is truly a miracle. each day that he isn’t sick he proves to everyone just how much of a miracle he is. it also gives you some perspective on God’s immense greatness. how great is our God?

another “good” is that it gave the Lord time to prepare my heart for what lies ahead. during tyler’s sickness God taught me patience, immense compassion, and gentleness in a way i’ve never experienced. through these teachings and more, He brought me to a place of clarity and revealed to me what was waiting for me. i remember spending one late november morning in prayer and when i was finished, i sat crying from overwhelming joy. God’s provision for my life was perfect. it couldn’t have been more perfect. i would care for children just like those that had cared for tyler. my heart was so happy that all i could do, to show gratitude, was cry. i would become a pediatric nurse.

tyler is in great health right now, only through Jesus Christ. my life, though crazy, disappointing and challenging is all a part of one goal: working towards making a lot more of God and a whole lot less of me.

i’m so thankful i decided to keep tyler and stop pursuing other jobs. i’m so thankful i turned down jobs so i could continue to keep tyler. i’m so thankful i chose being poor for something much more filling.

i’m so thankful i decided to stay at home.

because nothing is better than home.

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