i don’t know the kind of love a parent experiences with their children. it’s impossible for me to understand that kind of love without having my own children. but, i do know how much love i have for an almost 11-month-old boy, who captivates me with both his smiles and laughter.
because of this love, i often find myself thanking God that i can share sweet moments with him. i shared in many of his firsts this past year: the first time he rolled over, the first time he sat up, the first time he said “mama”, the first time he waved, the first time he learned to clap. i’m grateful for these moments. grateful that i’ve been given the chance to love on my precious bug.
but, what i’ve learned most about the experience of watching him, is that God gives us a mate first to begin the process of selflessness, patience, understanding, patience, grace, and patience. i realize i don’t have a mate [yet], but i have a tybug. children take everything from you. they need a lot. they need more than you have to give most of the time. but it’s a rewarding process.
my biggest memory of this is a few weeks after i returned from south africa i became very ill. for 5 days, i was miserable. but, i still had to watch tyler, because there was no one else. i, naturally, wasn’t happy about this; who wants to watch a baby when you’re sick? but, i had to. and that week is one that God taught me a lot about patience and selflessness. it didn’t matter if i didn’t feel like feeding tyler, or playing with him, i had to. he required those things of me, and i had a decision: to provide for tyler’s needs in the best way i could or be lazy about caring for him. i wrestled with doing things the easy way that week…after all, i felt awful. the only thing that kept me from doing it that way was this thought, “what does tyler deserve?” tyler didn’t deserve to get the shaft just because i didn’t feel well.
that thought has transcended into many areas of my life. the moments when i crave to be lazy, or i’m tired, or just plain don’t want to do anything.
children learn so much from their parents and close mentors. but adults, i believe, learn just as much or more.
i am thankful for the daily things that remind me to walk with the fruits of the spirit, to be a woman that can claim proverbs 31, that i can be a mary, when most of the time i am a martha. most of all, i’m thankful that God uses the life of a small, 19 pound baby boy to teach me more about His grace, mercy and love than i ever thought possible.