an experiment.

throughout the month of december, i made a lot of life decisions for myself. big things. one of those, was to listen to christian music when i was in my car.

now, let me back up…

when i was in high school, i lived my faith like it was a set of rules. {one should also note that i went to a private school, where one’s faith can easily get lost in “rules”}. rules worked for me {still do}. it gave me a goal to reach and attain each day. most days, i was successful. therefore, most days, i had great faith. i also was dating a guy who had very strong convictions. these convictions were not wrong, we all have our own. but i lived my life, at the time, under his convictions as well. BIG mistake. i lived my life like his probably because i wanted the acceptance and approval, but also because he, as well as his father, were two great men of faith in my eyes. i respected that. i respected them. all that to say…he only listened to christian music. it was a strong conviction of his. i never argued. i didn’t mind it. in fact, i enjoyed most of the music. but, i couldn’t stand radio. the songs were so, eighties christian?? i adopted this same philosophy. only christian music and radio. other music was not a good influence.

“even if you don’t think the secular music is affecting you, it is.”

“secular music doesn’t please God.”

i heard stuff like this ALL the time growing up. the message intended was to protect. but that message gets skewed with a lot people, especially with the way it’s presented most of the time.

eventually, this philosophy i lived by, wore on me. i didn’t like it, but felt confined to it, because this guy i loved and respected believed it to be true. it caused me to have a lot of internal conflict. {let me reiterate this: by no means was or is this right or wrong, i’m not the one who gets to decide that, for anyone, but myself.} and eventually, when we broke up, so did the conflict. i felt free. i could live how i felt my convictions were. i wasn’t trapped to what i HAD to listen to. i could listen to country, pop, r&b and whatever the heck else. and, for the first time, i heard, really heard, songs i’d listened to for years.

now…back to 2010.

i decided in december that i wanted to see if my temperment or thought process changed when i was in my car, just by listening to christian radio now that i didn’t feel bound to it. and, to be honest.

i feel encouraged. i feel that some songs are truly the cry of my heart.

and for the brief moment i’m in my car, it brings me back to God.

This is what im not saying: secular music is bad. i listen to it. for some reason, casting crowns doesn’t really motivate me to keep going on a treadmill the way christina aguilera does.

what im trying to say: music does affect us. and for me, right now, listening to christian music in the car is helping me stay focused. it’s helping me strive to become a better servant for Christ. it’s encouraging me to have mighty faith in a mighty, might God.

and for me, that is enough.


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